Support

I don't know what is worse, the pain or the lack of support. maybe the problem is with the people around me. I believe there is a better life at the end of this world.
My husband likes to threaten me with my beliefs. It's kinda like living with someone who threatens suicide by overeating all the time, I'm gonna do it, don't make me eat this cake, it's goons kill me. Get a life. There gets to be a point where you are like, how is this a threat to me? You kill yourself, and I am supposed to be feeling guilty, you know the consequences, you are an adult.
Don't threaten me with your stupidity. I know cutting my body parts off isn't an option, but sometimes I am like, please cut it off, even if it doesn't fix the pain, maybe it I'll fix the people around me...

Nerve Blocks and Overdoing it

November 2nd, I am having another nerve block. Last time I had 3 days pain free, and if they work the way the stellate ganglion blocks did then I could have the same, but I have to not overdo.

DO NOT OVERDO, DO NOT OVERDO,DO NOT OVERDO,DO NOT OVERDO, should be my mantra. I always overdo. One good day is directly followed by 4 bad ones, cause I overdo. Seems like this should only be allowed to happen to people who are no severely type-A personalities. You know the kind of people who don't freak out when the soup is in the same area of the pantry as the vegetables.

Playdates

My dog has playdates. Some people think its funny she does, but I need her to have playdates. It makes me step outside the pain and think of something besides living in a world shaded by the blues and reds of pain and anger.
She is a good dog, she knows when the pain is bad and lays carefully on my legs, and quietly waits until I can get up and take care of myself. She checks on me in the bathroom, wants to ride in the car with me, and sometimes she just lays her head on my chest when I cry. How much more of a therapy dog, could you get?
But she has playdates, and people laugh. I don't laugh. I hate not leaving my house for weeks at a time, hiding in the pain, lying to myself so I will get out of bed, promising myself this will get better.
I schedule playdates, for her and for me. What am I gonna do all winter when it rains, and we are stuck in the house??