Time and how it fades

I have not been feeling well. One of the meds I take causes weight gain. I know of people who quit taking it because of the weight gain, and went to another drug. The other drug is not an option for me. It gives me migraines, so of course, I cannot take it.
The weight makes it hard for me to work out. I have changed my diet and that of my family. They have all lost weight, and have gotten healthy. My weight has not gone down at all.
We all work out. We walk, play on the Wii, do Wii Fitness, and everyone in my family has lost weight, and they are in better shape. I do more than any of them, and my weight stays the same.
In facebook there was a post which said women don't get fat, its just all the knowledge leaving our brains and falling down. So when you look at your big behind, you are supposed to think how smart you are. I don't, I think what am I doing wrong. I keep trying and keep trying, but my brain won't think that way.
SO Im fat, depressed and in pain. How do you get past this? Any ideas? I would happily welcome any ideas.

Crying at Commercials

Sometimes is hard to identify when you are depressed. I call it my dark path. Its the one you know not to go down to but like the blonde in the horror flick who is standing at the head of the stairs calling to someone below her, you always take the first step even though in your head you can hear someone yelling at you not to do it.
My doctor tells me its called situational depression. It means I am depressed because the place I am in with the Chronic Pain issue. It means if I was not in pain, then I would probably not be depressed. I take a depression medication, and I know I am supposed to be taking them everyday. But every once in a while, I forget for a day or two.
I can tell when it is starting again. First the sad show on television makes a little lump in my throat. Then the shows make me get tears in my eyes, and eventually even commercials make me cry. I know then I am headed down the dark path.
Situational Depression is a hard. You know you should be fine, but you just can't seem to get a smile going. Everyone deals with situational depression at some point. Life happens, you step into a mess and it bothers you. But what happens when the situation doesn't change.
You deal, sometimes its good, mostly its bad, but you deal. I really don't want to deal anymore. I want to just have a nice day, a happy moment and my life back...

Narcotics and saying no

I take narcotics, large quantities of them. I do not choose to do this. I take them to get through the day and night. I have learned there are two sides to taking medications.
There is the stigmata of taking narcotics. Because so many medications are habit forming most persons assume if you are taking them you are addicted. I assumme at some level you are. Physically when we find a solution to my chronic pain, I will go through a period of withdrawal. I am willing to accept this. But medically there are ways to get through these times. My doctor and I have discussed the way I take medication and then the issues I will have as I withdraw. This is a stigmata I can live with.
There is also the mental addiction. The need for them in your mind. I have found by maintaining the attitude I am taking these medications for a short time, and keeping a journal of when and what I was feeling has really helped me avoid the thought I have to take medication forever. This is not to say there are not people who cannot stop once they start. I am fortunate to not be one of those.
The other side of taking narcotics is there are so many people who assume, since you take them you are willing to share with them, or at least sell a couple of them. I lost a friend because I refused to sell her any of my pills. I would not let her "borrow" the medication, and I explained to her repeatedly if she needed pain medication she should see her doctor. Instead she found a new friend who shares with her.
Being in Chronic Pain and taking medications really does limit the ability of friendships, but it is even harder when you have to watch each person you meet to gage if they are your friend for who you are and not for what you take.